They tell you a lot of things when you are going to become a mother, but a lot of the things they told me seemed self explanatory.
Your whole life is going to change.
Well, yeah. Babies really change things and anyone who thinks life can carry on as usual must not have put much thought into life after bringing that adorable bundle home. We never really were the couple who went out a lot, our idea of a good night was always staying home to watch something on TV or play a game we were hooked on. Adding a baby certainly changed our routine but we are still doing things we enjoy, just broken up a little here and there for baby care.
Let people help you.
Oh boy is this a huge one! I've been too stubborn about help because I don't want people thinking that I can't handle my new life as mom. Well let me tell you, it's not just this magical thing you swing into worry free. I love my daughter and it wasn't hard for me to fill into my newfound mother role. What was hard was balance. My housework wasn't being done while my daughter was being cared for solely by me 90% of the day (if not more) and it makes for some deeply depressing surroundings. Ask for help!!!! You will feel better I promise. And if you absolutely don't want to ask for help at least accept it when it is offered.
You will never do things right.
Not so much advice as a statement, let me explain. No matter what you do somebody will tell you that you are doing it wrong or that you should be doing it some other way, or not doing it at all. The pressure put on moms is insane to me. You will cry, at least I have, and probably feel like a horrible mother. Stop it! We are all wonderful mothers, if you are upset that you are messing up that means you are trying your hardest and you care about doing things at your best. Pass the torch to someone you trust and go treat yourself to something you love and relaxes you, whatever it could be, if playing with your baby is it then play with that beautiful baby. Relaxing doesn't have to mean separation, just take this moment to let go. Let go of everything that has been weighing you down, let go of all the negative just a suggestion comments, everything. Do something that brings you joy and celebrate the new life you have because when your child is grown and moved out you are going to miss the struggling days you are in right now. We are going to stress, we are going to worry, we are going to cry, but we are going to carry on because that's what being a mom is all about. And if it gets too hard to carry on we are going to seek out help where we need it because being a mom doesn't mean we have to soldier through our day to day without a complaint.
Love your baby and love yourself.
